I’ve been staring at a blank page for three days.
What do I write? What am I thinking? What was I thinking? Such are the conversations in my head. The never ending conversations. Well, okay. Sometimes they’re arguments, and I lose…but does it count if I lose an argument to myself?
I’m still wondering.
And maybe I wasn’t being completely truthful. I’ve only been staring at a blank page for a short period of time. I had actually sat down Monday morning to write, and finished about a page and a half. Not exactly blank space. And maybe “finished” is a misnomer. See, this is how I lose arguments with myself…
I had an amazing day on Sunday. I got to meet some wonderful people in person that I’ve met online. And I got to see an old friend. This is already reading like the last words I wrote. On another page. No longer blank space. The problem was I couldn’t finish my thought. Or maybe I was self conscious about the thought I was having. Sometimes I want to question things and discuss them and get them out in the universe to share. Sometimes I want to laugh and have fun and not think. Creatively, I need to be somewhere in the middle.
Consider this a true journal entry. Normally I write this type of thing out long hand on paper. Today I’m staring at a screen. Trying to flush the thoughts. I’m preoccupied. This will have to do.
It is another case of needing something, but not knowing what that is. When all else fails, write a poem…
Full of adventure
Down a trail
I followed a dream
Along the rail
Hopped on a train
And whisked away
Full of joy
To a life at play
Beyond the mountains
Beyond the plains
To another dream
Aboard a train
Sure, it’s not “Ode to a Grecian Urn”, but now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now I can start my day. I’ve learned over time that I am always inspired. Always. But often I’m challenged with seeing the inspiration before me. I wonder if my inherent Capricorn procrastination is at play during times like this. My parents should have hatched me in November. Scorpio. They don’t have these problems, do they?
Sure they do. And now I’m back to having arguments with myself. At least now I’m not staring at a blank page…