I’m a One Way Motorway

 

I woke up this morning with a song in my head.  It happens quite often, actually.  Often the night before I’ve heard something (a phrase, a song, etc.) that will plant the seed.  I’m generally not happy with the resulting bloom the following day.  I’ve awakened to disco, metal and even really, really bad bubblegum pop.  Not that I’ve awakened to disco, metal or really bad bubblegum pop…

Funny thing for me, too, is that I set my alarm to classical music.  No, I don’t know Mozart from Handel from Vivaldi, but I do love classical music.  For me it’s the perfect music to rise to because it isn’t going to get stuck in my head all day.  Plus, I like to think it’s like getting out of bed to a musical score in my own movie.  It’s just how I live my life, folks.

Anyway, today I’ve got a good ole fashioned rock and roll song stuck in my head.  I didn’t hear it last night, nor do I remember anyone saying anything that might have planted that seed.  Regardless, it’s there.

But I think it’s the motivation I needed today.

You see, I haven’t felt creative lately.  And it’s been more than a little scary.  I was actually joking with my wife recently about my fear that one day I’ll wake up and all of my ideas will be gone.  My creative process will have drained and I’ll be left with nothing.  I was joking, but there was a lot of truth to it as well.  Of course, then I really got scared that even saying something like that was taboo and that I’d certainly been inviting doom.  I’ve been a little creatively blocked for about a week.  It was happening!!!

But it really wasn’t.  I say that because I’m not a superstitious person.  And I think to believe something like my creativity suddenly leaving my body is to believe in superstition.  I don’t – so it won’t.  But that doesn’t mean from time to time I don’t get a little nervous about it.  Especially now, when so much is at stake.  I woke up this morning singing…

“It’s times like these you learn to live again…”

Over and over again, in my head.  The Foo Fighters.  Times Like These.

I sat at my desk with a cup of coffee, and began searching the World Wide Web for a source of inspiration.  I was looking up pictures, I was looking up quotes.  I read a little news.  NOTHING.  ZIP.  NADA.  No inspiration.

“It’s times like these you give and give again…”

I sipped my coffee.  I reviewed some notes I’d written last week.  I thought about my ever growing list of things to do.

“It’s times like these you learn to love again…”

Maybe I am superstitious, I thought to myself.  Maybe I have reached the end of my creative journey.  Maybe it wasn’t a flame, but a mere spark.  Am I really destined to do this?

“It’s times like these, time and time again…”

Am I destined to do this, I asked myself.  Destined.  That word.  Is it like superstition?  Something intangible, un-measurable?  Is it even possible?  Can I believe in destiny and not believe in superstition?

“It’s times like these…”

The song. 

I had awoken this morning to a new day, a new week, a new opportunity.  I had awoken with a new sense of purpose and creativity already filling my heart and soul to give me the motivation to carry on.  My day started out different today because it was time to start out different.

I don’t know if I believe in destiny.  I still don’t think I believe in superstition.  I mean, I didn’t count how many steps I took to my office this morning or whether I put my pants on left leg first or if I brushed my teeth counter-clockwise because it was an odd day or the moon was waning or whatever…

I do know that inspiration comes in mysterious ways.  Magically.  I know that for whatever reason, struggle is a part of our lives.  It is a part of our balance.  For me, today, it has helped me appreciate the good moments when I wake up with a song in my head and I feel flushed with ideas and words to share.  I hope I can remember that next time I’m struggling to believe this is my path.

It’s times like these I’ve learned to live again.

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