For Those About to Rock (It), We Salute You!


We need to talk.

Maybe you should sit down.

Comfortable?  Good…

You see, the truth is…well…I’ve been deceiving you.

Wait, before you say anything…let me finish.

I’m not what you think I am.  You see me every day.  We laugh, we cry, we think.  You’re totally in love with my beautifully handsome, manly awesomeness.  But that really isn’t me.  You see…

I’m a dork.

I have been a dork my whole life.  Some of my earliest recollections involve Star Wars action figures and Thundercats cartoons.  I’ve probably seen every episode of Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch and even Little House on the Prairie.

Sure, some of the cool kids may have done that too.  Maybe.  But after a while they stopped.  I didn’t.  I spent a lot of time indoors making forts and strange worlds out of Legos.  I was pale for a very long time.

As I got older, it didn’t get any better.  Sure, I changed a little.  Started playing sports.  But I was a daydreamer.  I was sneaking comic books between the pages of the Sports Illustrated in my backpack.  I’d watch the basketball games with my friends and then race home to catch reruns of Lost in Space or Star Trek.   On Saturday’s they’d play Doc Savage: Man of Bronze, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea or Warlords of Atlantis.  I’d sit on the couch at home and watch, but really I was a world away.

Don’t get me started on Dungeons & Dragons…

I know I should have stopped.  I tried, I really did.  I was good for a while, but then I started up again.  I was older, things had been going well.  I thought maybe I could control it.  But I know now I can’t.

That’s when I started to hide it from you.  Late at night sometimes, after all the cool shows were over and I’d finished tweeting about them, I’d sneak over to public programming hoping for a fix.  Sometimes I’d get lucky.  It was easy at first.

But now…now it’s becoming more difficult.  Temptation is everywhere.

I’ve thought a lot about it.  At first I denied it, telling myself it wasn’t true.  I tried to convince myself it wasn’t true.  But it is.  It is true.  I am a dork.  I realize that now.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  I’m a serious writer!  I’m an adult.  I have a house and responsibilities.  I have grown children of my own.  It shouldn’t be this way, but it is.  I should have seen the signs.  They were there.  The rolling eyes.  The deep sighs.  The exasperation and calls of “awww, man…”  The shooting glances in the market when Wham! poured from the speakers and I’d do the “Jitterbug”.  I didn’t get it at first.  And then this week it hit me.

A hero of mine passed away.  We didn’t know each other, but he had a story he once told me.  About monsters and wild things.  It had been a long time, but I remembered.  I remembered fondly.  He was part of a group of heroes that I’ve had since my dorkness first cracked the cocoon and emerged so wonderfully weird.  My favorite authors are children’s authors. 

I can’t keep it from you any longer.

I was supposed to have literary heroes named Hemingway, Tolstoy or London.  My work was supposed to be cutting edge, avant garde, revolutionary.  I was supposed to mingle among the Pulitzers and the Nobels and be lauded by the Times.  My work was to be existential…

Instead, my work rhymes.

It rhymes because I like it that way.  My work rhymes because it’s funny and it reminds me of being a kid.  It reminds me of dancing and laughing and playing.  It takes me back to the days when spinning around in circles in the yard was something to do.  The days when cool and rad were still part of my every day vernacular.  My poems try to recapture the days of R2D2 t-shirts and Saturday morning cartoons.  My work takes a look back to the whimsical weirdness of Pippi Longstocking reruns and Tom Hatten drawing amazing things from a “squiggle”.

Sure, you see my amazingly beautiful, handsome awesomeness and it’s tough to wonder where it all went wrong.  I’m not as pale anymore.  I boogie when you’re not around.  You missed the signs too.

But…since I’m being honest.  I like being a dork.  I’m comfortable.  I’m happy.  I don’t care that people point and laugh.  I don’t care that I missed Black Swan in the theater because I stayed home to watch that Firefly marathon on Syfy Network.


And my work is going to continue to rhyme.  For all the other dorks out there.  For me.  For Shel…

I may even go to a ComicCon.  And  dress up like Iron Man.  My next birthday party?  You know, my 40th birthday?  I’m thinking maybe a Justice League of America cake…or BATMAN!!  I’m seriously considering changing my Facebook status right now.  Look for the newsfeed that says “Greg Morton has updated his work to DORK.”  And I’m going to be happy doing it.

But you know what?  You know what would make me really happy?  If you went to ComicCon too.  Maybe dressed up.  It’d be fun.  We could sit outside at the bus stop in our costumes and laugh at all the cool people walking by.

We could get others, too.  Maybe a few of the others that are afraid of coming out and announcing to the world they’re dorks.  The ones who’ve felt a little shame.  Together we could tell them it’s alright.  They ARE dorks, but that it’s cool with us.  They can rock their dork anytime, because we think being a dork is amazingly beautiful, dorky awesomeness.

Whattaya say?

15 thoughts on “For Those About to Rock (It), We Salute You!”

    1. Ha ha ha…thanks! I’ve never had it on my list, until now honestly. I imagine soon it will become an obsession. I need to start saving my nickels for that costume. I hope you get to go one day!!!

  1. “You’re totally in love with my beautifully handsome, manly awesomeness. But that really isn’t me.”

    Heehee Okay, well clearly. But, erm, and don’t let this shock you, I’m not sure your confession is going to blow anybody’s mind here, my friend. In fact, I say, welcome aboard! You may be the last one to have figured it out ;). But there’s the secret. All the *really* cool people, the genuinely cool people, the legitimately, awesomely cool people are truly, in their heart of hearts, desperate dorks.

    I looooooooooooooove desperate dorks. All my best friends are desperate dorks, and they love the dorkiness in me. Desperate dorks are fun! They don’t say no to doing interesting stuff because their hair might get mussed, or people might look at them strangely, or their image will be blown. And more than that, it’s been my experience that people who embrace their dorkiness embrace other good things as well, in themselves and in other people – vulnerability, empathy, compassion, joy, silliness, pain, fear. You miss a lot when you have an image of coolness you have to hide behind. You miss all the greatest human experiences. In my humble opinion of course. And humble, and dorky, it is!

    This is a just a fabulous post – funny and touching and smart and ironic. I love that we get to see this side of you. You rock, seriously. You’re always upping the ante, taking the conversation deeper. Dork on, my friend. Embrace your Star Wars figures and your Wham! posters. We’re with you all the way :).

    1. Who said anything about desperate? Ha ha ha…

      Just kidding.

      Thanks for your reply. I laughed and was very moved by your last comments. It is certainly no secret that I LOVE to entertain others. A laugh, a smile or even a “Hmmm….” really affirms for me that I was born to do this. Sometimes it’s a lonely world sitting by myself in front of a computer and typing this stuff up. The great part is overcoming that fear and unleashing it upon the world for all (or at least a few) to read. That you enjoy it and take the time to comment means the world. But I still never said anything about desperate…

      Ha ha ha…gotcha again!

      Have an INCREDIBLE weekend!!

      1. I’m proud to be a dork too and am so grateful that you take the time to type this entertaining stuff up! It really brightens my day whenever I get to read something that you write – it’s always entertaining and thought provoking!

        Take care,

      2. “Who said anything about desperate? Ha ha ha…”

        LOL That cracked me up. (Twice.)

        Here’s the thing about the dork line, in my humble opinion. There’s no such thing as being on the line, or a little over the line – once you’re over, you’re over. Full on, all in, no holds barred, hopelessly, desperately dorky.

        But if you don’t accept that premise, I dare say you joined us in the ‘desperate’ section the day you started saving for your ComicCon costume.

        Either way, proud to have you on the team ;).

  2. You could have written this about me. Seriously! Little House On the Prairie got me through many sick days! Who am I kidding, I have seasons of it on DVD! Thundercats! Brady Bunch? I still kick myself for passing up Brady Bunch memorabilia at the flea market! Yeah…Dorks R’ Us! I love every minute of it though!

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